Filed under: Cardiology Drama
The moon is perfect. a mixture of red and yellow. but still, its nowhere orange. depicts what im feeling.
Sometimes, we get the feeling that enough is simply enough..or should i say, wait.. that is over. waaay over. we do commit mistakes that we never thought as a mistake… in that case, i usually call them, slightly offensive. slighty.
-in a relationship, we sometimes do things surprisingly and sweet. popularly known as the romantic side of living things. And honestly, i always try to have a bag of them. though i dont consider myself anywhere near romeo.
a surprise chocolate, a surprise gift, a surprise flower, a surprise kiss. you name it, for someone in a true relationship, the whole idea is romantic. who wont love that from his or her partner.
maybe, just maybe, with all the inevitable odds you can list down, some will hate those surprises. But the good intention is there…clean and pure. we all know it.. we just want them to feel loved.
given that mere circumstance, a good and sincere sorry is needed, no doubt, even with all the good intentions about it…
But to be pushed away while saying sorry, to be neglected like invisible air and nearly hated to the vains for a day or for a long time…even with apologies…just because of it, feels horrible. horrible. pissed off.
i’ve already had a lot of it. we tried to change it, and its not working out and i’m nowhere near having a smile about it. enough of it. enough.
Filed under: bites the ass.
Consider it a a good sign that you are reading right now the latest entry in my blog, two points: im still breathing by this moment and i still have the energy to share. And this entry is going to be for everyone. at least for those who i know.
- Numbers / scores don’t decide our fate. fck it. It doesn’t measure knowledge. though most people understand it that way, it sucks. it only measures performance at that very moment.. Numbers / scores doesn’t measure that thing between your two ears. (figuratively and literally).
- to the people whom i really care, In knowing what to do, if you really want to know what to do, remember that current emotions are mere distractions in solving problems. cut down the scenes and see what you should have done. dont draw out conclusions at once, it will only create false judgement. no matter how hard it is, dont take sides. even your own. it will only fuel fire. be the middleman of your own problem. from my quiet heart, i love you all. woot.
- Im thinking about gender judgements. and how people perceive it. Personally, I see it neutral and gender should not be the basis of justifying HUMAN actions. GENDER is: we have something that you don’t have. vice versa. thats it. that is only it. labeled in the most acceptable way for humans. oh i almost forgot the survival of the human race, that is another topic. :HUMAN:
- Is there a better word for “sorry..”? i can seem to think of a better one… im sorry… what is so wrong about it that you can’t accept it… what do you want me to do? I’ve always tried my best to understand you and have a happy story… is it hard for you to do the same….?
- I think somewhere in the fog, you can ask me “why?”…. that is a example of question of concern.
- We dont have a perfect relationship. No one is even in that idiomatic paradise anyway, so dont see it that way…we are in love and happy. To be perfect is to be Someone up there.
- Always ASK those who will benefit and pay for it. you are after their satisfaction. RESPECT IT.
- My suggestion and feelings, are gifts…try to learn from it. I’m not forcing it into you so dont’ take it as knives to cut you down and for you to take it personally.
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My notebook sketches are coming into life..technically.
Art is the reality of the imagination.SEPTEMBER 2008
Filed under: bites the ass.
THURSDAY. A supposed to be rest day for me since we have no classes. but not this time. with all the assigments and things to do, I’ aready up by 6am, doing all the assignments even for the next week. and fortunately, i was able to finish all academic things before lunch. And after lunch, the biggest trial for me.
I’m busy with my recent project in movie editing. busy in a way that I’m pushing myself waaaay beyond the my limits. I’m trying to materialize the idea that i have for this video.. my formula, a complicated idea..a perfect idea.. = a complicated time of achieving it. I want this project to be so perfect. perfect. perfect. at least for me. haha.
I spent the half day, working in the first part of the video…14 seconds and it took me sooo long. and im not yet satisfied with the results. ugh.
The practicality of attending 5hours earlier of my 1:00pm class is being absorbed by my system. shoot.
I’m already at school by 8am, I’m taking all the possible opportunities to make my life easier. at least x_x.
- since my mom have a load in FEU by 9, i seize the moment to have a FREE ride with mom.
- and since I’m WAY TOO EARLY for my ONLY 1-4 class in a SATURDAY, i’m able to do some of my assignments, if not im sleeping in the library.
- since i wasn’t able to sleep earlier, i translated a english song to tagalog. the outcome was freaky. hate it.
- I did the assignment in Experimental Pysch. (saw a lot of students having a hardtime in their thesis.) a year from now, Im in their position. oh hell.
- and now, making an entry in a nearby internet cafe. time check, 10: 37, shet. 2 and half hours to go.
THE REASONS FOR THIS SACRIFICE
- Gas is making history, everyone knows it, no need to explain. utilize it very well while it is still there.
- Money matters. If I decide to commute, it slashes my allowance. and i hate it. I really value money in the situation of the economy right now.
oh hell, i must find a way to earn money. money. money. money. money.
After typhoon frank did a little similar washing all over the country, Philippines that is, I’ve come to discover how too much free time can be such a force to indulge me on being the next Einstein. Simply stated, There is no classes (wipeee! celebrate!), meaning at home doing nothing, and soon seeing myself studying in advance. Somehow enjoying it. Which is not really me after all.
Hilarious indeed, I’m ready for the coming week. the cause is obvious, boredom. but this time, unlike summer, it is a productive boredom.
Don’t tell me I’m studious. I’ll pull out your soul. haha.
